Tuesday, 10 March 2015

Breaking Bad

For the first time, we’re doing the box-set thing and working our way through the great Breaking Bad. It is, after all, addictive.
It was eleven o’ clock on a Friday night and we had just watched a scene where Pinkman breaks into the creepy house of a junky couple, ending with a woman crushing her partner’s head under an ATM.
“Gross”
“Mmm”
Then: “What was that?”
We have two front doors, an inner and an outer, and I thought I had just heard a noise at the outer door.
We turned the TV down.
Then we heard the inner door open and shut.
WHAT WE SHOULD HAVE DONE:
When suspecting a break in, make a lot of noise to signal to the intruder that the house is occupied.  Do not corner the intruder.
WHAT WE DID:
Nigel, unarmed, went straight out into the hallway to investigate. 
He immediately relayed the identity of the burglar.  Apparently, it was somebody called,
“SHIIITTTT!!!!”
Luckily, there was simultaneously another voice going,
“SORRY, SORRY, SORRY!!!”
And I recognised the voice, the voice that was saying “I left a message on Clare’s mobile, and another on your answering machine….”
It was one of my oldest friends, Rosie, who mostly lives in New Zealand.  She is over in the UK helping out a sick relative, and a couple of weeks earlier I had given her the house key in case she ever needed a bolt-hole.  And then I’d forgotten all about it.

It’s just as well we didn’t have an ATM handy.