Tuesday, 12 July 2016

House Wine

Sadly, Helen’s elderly father died.  As we all shall, he left some things unfinished.  Every so often, Helen comes across a batch of his wine which still needs some work.
When this happens, she passes it on to Nigel for completion and we share the result.
The latest was a batch of cherry wine which she handed over in church on Sunday.
After the service, everybody crowded into the church hall for coffee and Nigel was just looking at the bottles of wine when he noticed a lump in the bottom of one.  He brought it close to his specs.
“Sh*t.”
When I arrived with my coffee, he showed it to me.
“Sh*t.”
“How did a large mouse like that, get in through the tiny bottle neck?”
“At least it must have died happy.”
Then Nigel said; “I’ll go and show Helen.”
“Don’t! Don’t!” I cried, “She’ll be so embarrassed she gave you wine with a mouse in it.”
“It’s a bit late for that,” he said – I’ve already shown William.  (William is her brother-in-law who attends the same church.)
I looked across the crowded hall – William was talking to Helen.  Would she be upset?
I could see her shoulders shaking.
Oh dear.
But then she turned and called across to us,
“I just told William it must be a mistake – I said I ordered a bottle of the House Wine – not a bottle of the Mouse Wine!”

Nice one, Helen.