Monday, 10 April 2017

I found Jesus at the Garden Centre

Garden Centre statuary is fascinatingly naff. 
It is rare to find a beautiful, simple form produced carefully in good quality material.
I started snapping some prime kitsch at the weekend.
I spotted Greek goddesses suffering from the usual wardrobe malfunction;

Buddhas smiling tolerantly at plaster kittens.

Then finally….was I really seeing this?  Jesus, resplendent in fake marble, sacred heart and all.

It was, after all, Sunday.

Then it occurred to me:-
Garden centres are quite large organisations. 
Perhaps everybody wonders who keeps buying in the weird statues, but nobody knows.  Perhaps in fact, nobody is buying them. 
In our irreligious age, perhaps the deities have spotted where it is that people flock to on holy days and have decided to establish a presence there – in the garden centres.
And from the garden centre, they can find their way into people’s hearts and homes. 
It is a cunning plot to restore religion to the nation.
The only thing that might foil it would be if somebody started to produce garden statuary that was both in good taste AND affordable.

That would definitely put the kibosh on it.