New Frock

It’s one of my rules – if there’s an event coming up, don’t go out shopping for The Frock.

The Frock is something you never find when you’re actually looking.

But unfortunately, I sometimes have giddy moments and break my own rules.

I had a few occasions to go to this summer and I thought maybe a new dress…

.

I prowled the internet.  Hopefully it’s the closest I’ll come to internet dating.  Many handsome frocks, but none of them looked like The Frock. 

Plus, I was pretty sure that when I tried them on, they wouldn’t look as thin and gorgeous as they did in their profile pictures.

A quick sweep of Monsoon (accomplished at a moment when Nigel was texting me ‘Where are you?’) had left me with a fleeting impression of a lace dress in flaming orange and hot pink.  It was the kind of dress that already seemed to have a red rose gripped between its teeth.

I didn’t have time to try it on.

On holiday, Carenza encouraged me to buy it. 

It looked good on.

And that should have been the happy ending.

But then I needed a jacket – it had to match either the hot pink or the orange – I found one in orange.

Then a clutch bag.  Hot pink!

Then shoes – something neutral.  But no, the ones that fitted best were rose gold.

I became afraid to look in the mirror – scared that peering back at me, I would see Grayson Perry.

I wore it all to Hannah & Joel’s wedding.  It certainly ensured that nobody could miss me -  the brightly-coloured woman three rows back who was trying to stifle a coughing fit during the vows.

But after all, at least when the dancing started, it made me feel young.