Friday, 27 March 2015

How to Deal with a Canvassing Politician



Out hiking with my friends this morning , I was watching a lapwing through my binoculars when my phone dinged.


It was the family Whatsapp group.


Carenza, who is registered to vote and has particular political views had just encountered the local Tory MP with whom she has no truck.

“Ohhh guys I just had theeee cringiest moment ever: Anne Main knocked at the door canvassing and I couldn't be bothered to talk to her, so I pretended I was too young to vote (I said I was 17 really unconvincingly).
Then I remembered it was a school day so pretended I was off sick and no one else was home then she looked a bit concerned and asked what school I went to and I told her and she said that she was there yesterday doing a husts thing and asked why I hadn't been there so I coughed and pretended I'd been off all week SO EMBARRASSING OMG she KNEW I was lying.”

I was still pondering the first message when another came in:

“She kneeeeew.”


I turned to Dee, “Do they still have truancy officers?”


But Whatsapp dinged again immediately, and it said,


“But it’s okay – I’m sure Anne Main’s too busy canvassing to call Social Services.”


Carenza is clearly better at dealing with her mother than with Tory politicians.