As we watch our darlings depart for university with their whole lives before them, many of us mothers are now starting to tango with the menopause. I thought I should find out more and last summer I attended a seminar. It was a hot August day and the room was crowded. Pretty soon, there were a lot of very flushed middle-aged women fanning themselves. The venue manager grabbed her mike and announced, “The heating is stuck ‘on’ and we can’t unlock the windows, but don’t worry – IT’S NOT YOU!”
One friend who told me how, as she queued to pay for cough mixture while the local pharmacist had a lengthy discussion with a rather deaf old lady, her eye was caught by a novel menopause treatment – magnets.
Yep. Magnets for your pants – “Attach them to the fabric to alleviate menopause symptoms.”
Being game and perhaps just a little bit desperate, my friend bought these and duly positioned them. She felt a lot better and all went well until her supermarket shopping trip, when she experienced a tugging sensation and discovered that her lingerie was being inexorably attracted to her metal shopping trolley. Apparently it looked a bit like that YouTube clip of the tortoise trying to mate with the drinks can.
It’ll be some time before she can return to Sainsbury’s.