Lord of the Flies

Although year on year our  insect population is declining due to use of pesticides, there still seem to be enough of them around to bite me.

So when Carenza and I visited Butser Ancient Farm, I applied some of the Ancient Insect Repellent which has for some time resided in our car. 

‘No thanks,’ said Carenza.

As we showed our tickets at the entrance, I began to find it hard to concentrate, even to speak.  I had been surrounded by a thick cloud of small flies.

As we had a coffee in the picnic area, the flies, overcome by some strange invertebrate ecstasy, began to dash themselves against my arms, still slick with sunscreen and repellent.  They adhered there as if I were a human flypaper.

Even the Butser Farm goats had fewer flies round them.

I evaded them for a short time by stalking rapidly to the ladies’ loo.  When I got back, Carenza said she’d been worried they might start bothering her, but instead they had remained buzzing wistfully around my chair until I returned.

‘They really love me, don’t they?’

‘They think you’re their queen.’

In fact, the explanation was that insect repellent contains pheromones which in large quantities ward off insects, but in much smaller concentrations, attract them.  So the one thing worse than having no insect repellent was having very old insect repellent.

Unless of course, you want to be ‘Lord of the Flies’.