Behaving like a Primadonna

 

I went to the Primadonna Festival of books and writing last year and was blown away by it.

It’s not huge and it’s not designed to make a profit, and for that reason, there’s a lot of good will and community around it.

So I went again this year and encouraged a couple of friends.  They couldn’t be doing with camping in a field, despite the best festival toilets ever (supplied by ‘mobile thrones’).  So they air-b-n-b-ed, while I camped out under the stars.

There were some excellent events where writers shared their experience, but I probably gained equal enjoyment from sharing a cuppa with my friends, catching up with folk I met last year and from conversations with amiable strangers.

My favourite moment was at the comedy night.  The compere was trying to get a rise out of the front row.

She asked a young Goth in the front row, ‘And what do you do for a living?’

‘I work for a specialist cleaning firm.’

‘Specialist, eh?  What’s your specialism then?’

Pause.  ‘We clean up where there’s been a death.’

The compere hastily moved on but I am still left wondering whether that young person really did work for such a firm or whether it was simply their way of dealing with comedy comperes.

I have come home enthused and inspired about my writing.  The only drawback of so much community is that one of my friends contracted COVID, so I’m waiting to see on that one….

A lurking danger

 

Last week, near Falmouth, I sat sketching at Maenporth Beach Cafe while Nigel, Pascoe, Perran and Carenza went for a swim.

I was touched when Pascoe came back to keep me company.

Except, that wasn’t it.

‘I’ve trodden on something and my foot’s really hurting.’

Pascoe is notorious for his high pain threshold, so this was somewhat perturbing.

However, there was no glass, only a slight dark patch beneath the skin of one of his toes.

It was a puzzle.  Pascoe, however, is a biologist:

‘Jelly fish? Sea urchin? …weever fish?’

I went up to the café counter. ‘Do you by any chance have weever fish at this beach?’

‘Yes we do.  I’ll fetch you some hot water at once.’

Weever fish lurk just under the sand with their spines sticking out.  The pain is extreme.  The treatment is to dip the foot in water as hot as one can bear to denature the toxin.

By this time, Pascoe had shivers running up his spine.

The lady in charge was kindness itself and after about twenty minutes of very hot water, the pain was subsiding.

After the urgency passed, Pascoe was a little quiet.

'Okay, Pascoe?'

'Yes.  Just wondering how the weever fish is doing.'

So that's what my friends think of me...

At a.m recent gathering of our friends, we (unwisely) put up pics and asked for captions.

Here are some of our favourites.

 'There's two born every minute.'

 Does it have an ensuite?

 Public Enemy number one is captured finally.

 I hear the Vegan breakfast is to die for.

 It is okay Sir this van is electric.

 Irish stew in the name of the law.

  Letsby Avenue

'And this is why the Bronze Age was so disappointing.'

'The most embarrassing moment of my life? Well what do I choose?'

 Only one participant again, but at least everyone agrees with me.

 Break out rooms could be tricky.

 Who is that idiot grinning at me... oh.

 

 I told you not to eat meat.

 Hi everybody! (Aside) Are you sure you're not an Eco toilet?

 Nigel has a light bulb moment.

 One of these is very bright the other less so.

  

I've had a good sit down and a good long thing and I still don't know what that pale thing is.

 The revived Doctor Who finally runs out of budget.

Well this is a trifle awkward.

 Where exactly did you bury the car keys?

The first test is a success - the glue is strong enough to hold a dove.  Next step - a cat.

 You can't walk or move suddenly or they get into a flap - humans are like that I'm afraid.

 Help I've got a Nigel stuck on my foot.

 It's okay no one sees the back.

 One more comment and I will change this to a number one.

Hair all done.  Teeth next.

None of the captions for this were very funny, but I like the pic so thought I’d include it anyway!

Election Greens

 

For Nigel and I, the looming threat of climate change dominated our voting. 

We loved the Green Party’s policies, aimed at tackling just that, with major social reforms besides, aimed at restoring a fairer society.

We also love our current Lib.Dem. MP, Daisy Cooper, who also has a really strong record on green issues..  And she had a far better chance of getting in than the Green Party candidate.

‘She’ll walk it,’ said Nigel, ‘Let’s vote to show our support of the Greens.’

However, since the horror of the Brexit vote, it’s clear that it’s not safe to put in a protest vote which might actually foil the outcome you want.

In the end, Nigel voted Green and I (being risk averse) voted for Daisy.

And she walked it.

So I coulda shown support for the Greens after all.

Across the country, millions of folks were performing similar calculations.

Or we could just change the system to proportional representation and vote with our heads and hearts, rather than tactically…