Sunday, 4 May 2025

An Oasis inTime

 


My mother’s cremation was at Penmount Crematorium near Truro on Friday 4th April. 

Beforehand all five of us shared breakfast in the sunny dining room of the hotel where we had stayed the night.

Perran’s plans to move to Brussels had finally crystallised and he would return to London that same night on the sleeper train in order to pursue arrangements. Carenza announced she would move in with Sandy when Perran left, another milestone.  She had to return on the sleeper too – a friend’s hen party the next day.

So Mum’s death was not the only big change taking place, and everybody had suffered the drag of time pressure as they made the long trip to Cornwall for the funeral.

Despite the sunshine and the abundant spring blooms in the hotel garden, we were self-absorbed, hoping we were suitably dressed, running over readings and eulogies.

The funeral went smoothly, orchestrated admirably by Revd. Di Willoughby.  The lunch afterwards was held in the barn at Trelissick, an NT property which Mum had loved. It was good to catch up with friends, relatives and carers, and to remember Mum.

After a couple of hours, guests were leaving, but bizarrely, after all the fuss and flurry, it was now hours until the sleeper train, and we had nothing further scheduled.  Dad didn’t want our company as he needed to rest.  And it was the most beautiful bright spring day. 

The five of us walked on into the fabulous gardens of Trelissick, which were at their peak, with blossoming magnolias, azaleas and camelias.  Incongruous in our smart black gear, we strolled along the paths we had walked so often with Mum, and recalled how her circuit had reduced in circumference as the years progressed.  We talked desultorily of this and that, and there was no rush or urgency.  Perran and Pascoe climbed the tree they had first tackled as infants.  All of us perched in the wooden hut where, when the children were babies, I had once sat to breast-feed them. Blue sky, green grass, bright flowers.

If there is such a thing as an oasis in time, then this was it. 

I know that sometimes I shall feel sad in the months ahead, and I am writing this for my future self, so I can recall once more an unlooked-for perfect afternoon with my husband and children.



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