At graduation I was surveying Pascoe’s friends and realised that although I knew they’d obviously obtained their degrees, otherwise they wouldn’t be there, I didn’t know how they’d done, so I asked Pascoe. He replied,
“Kadija and Rebecca? They both got Damians.”
“Damian Hirst – first.”
“What about Josh?” I ask.
“Oh, he got a Gok.”
I see – Gok Wan, two: one.
How extraordinary – cockney rhyming slang for the different types of degree. I ask Pascoe if there are any others.
“Yeah – there’s a Desmond - two: two….and then there’s a Douglas: that means a third, but I don’t know why.”
“Probably Douglas Hurd. Is there one for a fail?”
“How about a Christian Bale? Making it up as I go along now.”
I turn to the twins.
“So, is there rhyming slang for the different A2 grades?”
“No,” they chorus.
Then they frown and walk moodily away.