At graduation I was surveying Pascoe’s friends and realised
that although I knew they’d obviously obtained their degrees, otherwise they
wouldn’t be there, I didn’t know how they’d done, so I asked Pascoe. He replied,
“Kadija and Rebecca?
They both got Damians.”
“Damians?”
“Damian Hirst – first.”
“What about Josh?” I ask.
“Oh, he got a Gok.”
I see – Gok Wan, two: one.
How extraordinary – cockney rhyming slang for the different
types of degree. I ask Pascoe if there
are any others.
“Yeah – there’s a Desmond - two: two….and then there’s a
Douglas: that means a third, but I don’t know why.”
“Probably Douglas Hurd.
Is there one for a fail?”
“How about a Christian Bale?
Making it up as I go along now.”
I turn to the twins.
“So, is there rhyming slang for the different A2 grades?”
“No,” they chorus.
Then they frown and walk moodily away.
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