Saturday, 18 April 2015

Wild Woman

One of the drawbacks of being my age is thermostat problems.
I overheat.  
“Is there anything you can do about it?” asked Nigel as yet again I threw the bedclothes off.
(Tetchily) “Well there’s HRT, but I’m not resorting to that yet.”
“Nothing else?”
(Grumpily) “Soya milk can be natural HRT but it gives me wind.  Oh, and there are herbs that are supposed to help – sage and the like.  One person I knew drank a special menopause tea.  If you wanted to be a loving and helpful husband you could investigate that…”
A few days later, a package postmarked Glastonbury arrived.
The contents looked like pot–pourri.  But the label read “Wise Woman Tea”.  What a tactful name.
When we applied hot water, it seemed to contain a great deal of clover – “Are you calling me a cow?”  It tasted wholesome and herby.  But after a few sips I said,
“It’s no good – I still hate men.”
Later that day, Carenza called, “Mum, do you want some of that Angry Woman Tea?”
At bedtime, Perran said, “There you are – I’ve made you a cup of Mad Woman Tea.”

Finally  we have agreed on a mutually acceptable name for the beverage – it has become my Wild Woman Tea.


  1. A short while ago I went to the GP complaining about some "funny symptoms". Nothing unusual to a 45 year old, mother of two young boys who already think they're teenagers and behave as such. Because of the mood swings, extreme tiredeness and other who would be classified under 'too much information' here, he suspected of "early menopause", sent me for a series of tests which all came up as normal... Funnily enough, I hung on to the "early" part of the diagnosis and that alone was enough to lift up my mood. That said, could you please give me the details of where to find the Grumpy Woman Tea? It might be just what I need.

    1. Indigo Herbs, Glastonbury - but be careful, they don't call it "Grumpy Woman Tea"

    2. I had this dream of become wiser as I grew older... Instead I'm getting grumpier, crankier, heavier... Bring on the tea!

  2. I don'twant an antidote to being a mad, bad and dangerous old woman, I've been looking forward to it all my life.

  3. I keep looking for The Menopause Fairy but she refuses to visit. If I'm not having any more babies, I can't see the point in all this monthly inconvenience (I never did get to that place of enlightenment where I Red Tented and revelled in The Glory Of My Bloodmoon Femininity etc. etc.) I LOVE the idea of angry/wild/mad woman tea :) Make mine a large one :)

    1. Do the Red Tent thing now, while egg-stocks last!