Showing posts with label Tate. Show all posts
Showing posts with label Tate. Show all posts

Thursday, 11 October 2018

Journey into Technicolor


Ten weeks after my foot surgery, it was my birthday, and Nigel and I made a trip to meet Perran and Carenza at the Turner Prize Exhibition at the Tate Britain.

Life on crutches has been limiting, but on the journey, I felt like Dorothy in The Wizard of Oz, when the world changes to Technicolor.

In the tunnels of the London underground, I spotted a young woman carrying in front of her a homemade birthday cake topped with glistening white icing and silver balls.  She obviously lacked suitable tupperware as the cake was uncovered. Her face was shining, and I wanted very much to see the end of her journey when her friend received the cake, hopefully unharmed.

But the press of people carried her on.

Then on the platform were two young men.  One was showing the other a gift that he had wrapped for their friend.  Inside the parcel was a large piece of art.  I couldn’t see the picture, of course.  However, I could admire the way he had carefully cut and folded several different sheets of colourful paper to make an ingenious pattern.

When we met Perran and Carenza, I told them about these Birthday-themed sightings.

And after the Turner prize exhibition, there was one more.  I thought I had left it too late and missed Anthea Hamilton’s mischievous Squash, creating havoc in the main hallway.  
But there it was, a performer dressed as a gourd, loitering and lounging among the older Tate exhibits. 
Carenza said that when she saw the Squash before, it had been much more lively.  We wondered whether it was perhaps a hung-over Squash today. 

Maybe it had had a birthday too.

Wednesday, 27 December 2017

How to get straight to the top without New Year Resolutions

Feeling slightly seedy after Christmas feasting, we are easy prey for the New Year’s Resolution.

We will make a promise to eat less/exercise more/ read improving literature/ take up fretwork.

The aim is to become better people.
The result will be that most of the forthcoming year will be clouded with a nebulous sense of failure.

So I’m asking you to think first.
There is a simpler way of doing this.

Next time you are ordering something on the Internet, or registering for an organisation, take a look at their drop-down list of titles – some of them contain the full range of options, from Ms to Viscountess.
You can select any one you like – the cursor does not contain a lie detector.

I sometimes choose Brigadier – to have attained such heights without serving a distinguished career in the army!
Then the person delivering my package will look at me with respect, for in their eyes, I am a brigadier.

The only time I regretted it was when we moved house and I lost some Tate tickets I had ordered months before.  Sue and I arrived at the ticket desk where I was confident I could explain myself:
“I bought two tickets in the name of Clare Hobba…”
“Nope – no record of a purchase in that name.”
Sue and I exchanged a worried glance – we had both travelled in specially.
I tried Nigel’s name and even my middle name, but they still did not recognise my purchase.
Finally, the woman squinted at me sternly:
“You didn’t call yourself Princess Cynthia Hobba did you?”
“Erm.  Yes.  That was very likely me.”
“What is your address?”
Dimly, I gave my current address – not the previous one from which I’d ordered the tickets.
More stern staring, even after I’d explained.
“I’m very sorry I gave a false name.  I shall never do it again.”


“Nor a false title, nor a false address…” muttered Sue in the background.