House Move

1 Stoppard Street has served Pascoe and his friends well for the last two years.  It has seen a parade of international students who stayed for a term or two, and some interesting “couch surfers” from abroad.  I can only hope that the orphan black socks were removed from the couch before surfing occurred.

A sentimental farewell party has happened, but now it is time to clean up and clear out.  I make advance phone calls:

“Does your vacuum cleaner work, Pascoe?”

“Of course it does.”

“Okay, it’s just not easy to tell when we visit whether you have a working vacuum cleaner or not.”

I gather bleach, rubber gloves, Flash liquid, black bags, more bleach.

“Will it be one car-load or two?”

“Just one, cos my bike’s too trashed to bring home.”

And then there’s the deposit.  Between the four housemates it’s nearly £1000.  They don’t seem to have a copy of the original inventory and the letting agent for the house has changed. Maybe the muddle will work in their favour.  If the new landlord grumbles about the state of the carpet, we’ll suggest they sell it to a brewery for reclamation work.

Somebody was telling me how they patched up the paintwork in their student room just using Tippex.  Ah, if only Tippex manufactured their product in “magnolia”, they’d make a fortune.


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